Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
