do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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