Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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