I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
