I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
