week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
