chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize