When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
