I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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