Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Mom said you looked used
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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