I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
