I forgot how hot balto sounded
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
