how can u be prego again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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