Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
