went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
