What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
