I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
