this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
