new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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