found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
No subtext here. People are naked.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
