i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
