oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
