You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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