dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
