But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
