u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
