Whod you bang
grandma shit on top of the toilet
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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