I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
