Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
