God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
