Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
