We won't sleep together?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
