Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
