i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
