You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
