i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
