hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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