My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
