So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
