eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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