So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
