and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
wow bdsm is so cute
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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