If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
