So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
