its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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