Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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