Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
