We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
