We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
