i was born a porn star she said
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
