my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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