Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
