Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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