1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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