but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize