you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
