and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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