so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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