Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
