Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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