i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
