So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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