i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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