based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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